Are you In?
Thanks so much for hosting me!
I started my blog tour for Untouched with a post about how I believe masturbation is the foundation a person's sex life, and since then I've talked about a lot of issues that come up in the book for the touch-phobic main character, Celia. This is my final post on this tour, and I'd like to bring it full circle by talking about Celia's struggle to find a partner who's into what she's into.
Masturbation is so important to me because it's the sex life I can have free of judgement, on my own, without pressure to please anyone besides myself. That's been essential to discovering what I really like and want out of a sex life, but there's a key next step if I want to take that knowledge into my relationships with other people.
I need those people to care about and buy into that stuff I discovered about myself (and hopefully I'm doing the same for my sex partners). I can say from experience that it's incredibly depressing to discover important things about my sexuality and share them with a partner only to have that person respond with disgust or demands to change.
At the same time, it's always been hard for me to stand up for myself when it comes to sex. It's so common to learn the hard way about social norms. I've stood more than once in groups of giggling women and heard someone mock people who would engage in a particular sex practice—only to be uncomfortably aware that I've tried that thing and liked it.
There are also plenty of ideas floating around about what "normal" sex is and what it ought to be like, and it's hard to feel as if the reality of one's desires don't match popular definitions of normal.
Ultimately, this is what Untouched is about. Celia is insecure about herself at the beginning of the book, and she doesn't know how to stand by her desires. She experiments with a few partners over the course of the book, and what really matters, in my mind, is her journey into self-acceptance. A partner who can't accept her sexuality isn't the right partner for her.
Celia blinked. "Why?"
Eli shrugged. "It's very hot to see a woman who's so turned on that she can't help herself."
"I never thought about it that way." Pleasure suffused Celia's face and chest. It felt as if she could be transformed by Eli's descriptions. Already, she could see a different vision of herself, if vaguely, as someone eminently desirable, radiating sexuality in such a pure form that touch would have caused an overload.
"What about you? What do you like to see?"
She was surprised until she remembered that Eli liked being watched, too. "I think I just like to see, you know? I'm trapped in myself because of how I am. I want to know what sex is like for someone else. I don't know how a cock feels. I like the idea of watching you have sex and seeing how you do it." Her face heated. She didn't like that she sounded so virginal and naïve. "I mean, I've watched porn," she added quickly.
"It's different," he said. "I know." Again, Eli made her feel as if everything about her was all right.
Celia glanced at his lap and realized that she'd collected all the sex toys. She'd been free for a few seconds of her constant wariness about other people's bodies. She shook her head slightly. Celia wasn't foolish enough to believe that meeting Eli could solve all her problems in the space of an afternoon, but it was hard not to get excited about the possibilities that he was opening up. She tried to imagine what it would be like to enjoy her sexuality without feeling either inadequate or slutty, and the idea boggled her.
Preorder Untouched now and forward your confirmation e-mail to Annabeth.firstname.lastname@example.org. As a thank you, Annabeth will send you a complimentary e-book copy of your choice of one of her other single-author titles (You can see them listed at annabetherotica.com). Please include which e-book and format you'd like in your e-mail.